It's all about that lace

"It's all about that lace, no Velcro," we all know the infamous words to that great song parody of Meghan Trainor by Blockbusterguy7. Sang by Emma and written by Austin, this song brings back memories of that creative time period during our 4th grade lives. I am sure we can all relate to this young, future pop star. I personally remember writing a parody to the Power Rangers theme song. In all seriousness, this video is 100% truthful; it really is all about that lace. Shoes are made or broken by their shoelaces.

Everyone knows the generic lace-up method that shoes come pre-designed with. If your shoes still have that lace-up than your life is not spicy enough. You need to take risks and show off your personality. Each lace-up method has a different voice and based on which design you are wearing, people will instantly know the most important aspects about you. They will be able to tell if you are any good at tying shoes, if you have any artistic capability whatsoever, if you are cool and rad, or if you are lame and mainstream. I believe that this quote explains the generic lace-up best, 

"Basic"

-Generic popular kid

Don't be that one unique kid, who follows everyone else's lace style. Be yourself. I don't know about your high school, but in my town, your popularity is ranked based upon how well your lace style matches your personality and overall awesome-ness. I haven't even gotten started on color yet, but if you master this first lesson in shoelace style then your friend circle will go from, 

"0 to 100 real quick"

-Drake

My personal favorite characteristic about shoelaces, is all the colors to choose from. Color. What is color? C-Mills defines color as "Listen up, you ignorant ********...there's no right or wrong way to spell it. It was originally "colour", but early Americans decided that the "u" was unnecessary, so they changed it to "color". What's so wrong about that...they thought it made a lot of sense. And what's wrong with the original spelling...obviously that's the way the Brits liked it! I can't believe some of the postings on here...with the Brits calling us "lazy" and "stupid" for changing the spelling of a word, and with us calling them ridiculous because their version has an "extra letter"...for Pete's sake, it's a WORD. Language evolves over time, so deal with it and stop bitching about insignificant things, like everyday language. There's much more important stuff going on out there...

"Color" or "colour"...it's the same word either way." Now I don't agree exactly with C-Mills but a dictionary is a dictionary. Now, different color schemes for your shoes. Basically you can do whatever you want with colors but make sure that it follows the 4 simple rules of CAKE.   1. Color everything you possibly can, every lace, aglet, and open space.                                                                                                 2. Apply the primary colors as well as secondary colors.                         3. Kepler                                                                                           4. Every duck doesn't not wear no pants.

You are now ready to begin your journey into experimenting with color. Remember to use the Scientific Method, defined by Newton who used principles from Descartes and Bacon. Please send in pictures of your personal styles and colors. Let me know if any of y'all make some new friends or gain popularity because of these tips.

Here you can see the most popular kids, in their shoe council, comparing notes about new designs